Dads huge cock

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Dads huge cock

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Then one of them remembers something: it's a fad, a teenage thing. They've heard about it. The boys are sending around pictures of their penises that they have taken using their iPhones.

Those numbers I saw on the Inbox that were the emailer's address are actually his iPhone phone number, they tell me. And, yes, they say, they have heard that the girls are sending around pictures of their vaginas.

But Mother wants to know more. I call the iPhone phone number. A boy answers. I have a crazy parental urge to say to him, Don't you kids listen when the grown-ups tell you not to give strangers any information?

You don't have to tell a stranger anything! You'd probably tag along after a man who tells you he has a hurt puppy in his car!

It's not my daughter's school. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know him that well. On the other hand, if I do decide to exact retribution at some point, it will now take me about ten minutes, from the information he has given me, to find out who he is and what his parents' home phone number is.

This seems to be a boy my girl kind of knows who is indulging in a disgusting fad. It's disgusting, but it's so disgusting it suddenly seems funny.

Also, I'm so relieved that the possible other, darker scenario isn't true--we are not going to be a statistic in "Newsweek," it seems--that I'm practically giddy.

My older daughter and her friend and I spend the next twenty minutes laughing ourselves silly about M and his member and the possible future conversations we might have with him about it.

My baby arrives home from school. Her appearance at the front door sends my older daughter and her friend and I into fresh fits of laughter.

I say, playfully, "Did you get a little something in your email from someone named M? He's disgusting!

Why are you reading my email? In the days that follow, M and his penis are reduced to a funny anecdote in our family, included in the category of penis humor that my girls and their friends have developed over the years one enduring penis song, the product of a long car ride in Italy: "Wanahini wanahini, Hello, is that your peenee?

Wanahini wanahini, Does it drive a Lamborghini? I keep trying to keep what M did down at fad status: just funnin', a latter-day version of goldfish-swallowing or cramming all of your friends into a phone booth.

I don't know why these antique examples come to mind, but I've always been kind of retro, kind of behind my time. I didn't participate in the naughty fads of my day so much as read about them in Life magazine while sitting in the kitchen in my flannel nightie, drinking a glass of milk and eating a box of Nilla wafers and watching "The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

All of these things involved nudity and exhibitionism and flaunting your privates, didn't they? What's the difference between that and sending a picture of your penis over the Internet?

This interpretation refuses to sit right. Those other fads were all about being with other people, they were convivial group romps. I think of M alone in his bathroom, looking at Mom's bras and the used towels on the floor, taking pictures of his lonesome penis.

Get out of there, son! Go outside and get some air! But just as grieving has its stages Denial, Anger, etc. My God! It is not all right, sending a picture of an erect penis to my 13 year-old!

What effect has it had on her? Has this been a traumatic event? I can't believe how many days it has taken me to get truly concerned about this.

Surely she has seen pictures of penises before, maybe even erect ones--they probably sketch them from live models in Sex Education--but this one was personal, this one was meant for her and however many other girls on M's list.

This one was in big, veiny close-up. I am a terrible mother. My baby has always been a private person, and not loquacious.

I try to talk to her about it two more times, but I'm rebuffed. She hates Talks. I don't blame her. One afternoon I see her at the far corner of the yard, swinging on the swing set.

Her older sister did the same thing when she was a teenager, on the swing set we'd bought for her when he was little. She'd go out there and swing gently back and forth, rocking herself into a kind of reverie.

Ten years later, the new baby came, and we bought a wooden swing set to replace the rusty old metal one. And now the baby has the same habit as her sister.

Now, when there is absolutely nothing else to do, she goes out there and swings slowly, the wood making little creaking sounds like a sailboat's mast in the sea.

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Don't be disgusting! It's probably just some boy she knows, says my older child, some boy just trying to be funny. This is R's mother. Sort of. Bye," I say.

He's polite. Yes, ewwww, it's disgusting! I met him, like, twice. Is he trying to be funny? Does he want to be your boyfriend?

I watch her. Has she forgotten about M's penis? Will she ever? She's not telling. Back and forth, back and forth, my baby swings and swings.

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I turned to look, because clearly, this WAS a joke. The whole chest hair conversation had to be a long setup, and this was the punchline. Well done, Dad!

Reminds me of the time I was coming back with my parents from a wedding for a family friend named Andrea. She is known as Rea. I spent five minutes doing a set-up on the car ride home that included a false story of her running around the reception in a state of panic.

I built suspense, tension, and sincerity. I know how to do these things. Back to Dad. This disappointed me. What was a great joke was now a tragic admission.

I immediately looked at my dad like there was something terribly wrong with him. But he was. It was time for me to impart some wisdom of my own.

But in the form of a question, like Socrates. My father was now judging me while stumbling through his response. That generation did not trim their pubes.

So I started backtracking to try and repair the damage just caused to our relationship. Well, you know, I mean, just a little cleaning up down there.

That would be crazy! Women expect it. I mean, sort of. But no, I never thought about conditioning.

Not a bad idea. No sir, not bad at all. Okay, gotta go. As I showered, I realized we had both equally grossed each other out.

I remembered that, as a youth, I had never received the masturbation talk or the sex talk. I suppose this is not unusual. You ought to have at least one uncomfortable moment with your father where you both share something deeply personal and embarrassing.

It will bond you in a way. Was Dad a grifter? I always wanted to meet a grifter. But I assume this is something different. One of those colonial terms.

I live in Peoria? And I used to live in Chicago. The best one was, um, three before this one. I once pooped at the bottom of Glen Oak Park because I was too lazy to drive up to the bathrooms.

Everybody poops. Awesome blog. Not to shamelessly whore myself but I have a few blog entries about this topic. I wish i could take a shower with my father and get to see his penis and ass and pubic hair i have seen it just for like three seconds but i wants to touched too….

Holy hell this is hilarious. Glad you bonded over your grooming habits. Bonding is important. Still laughing….

Oh and I shared! LOVE the blog. Nope…never discussed pubes with my dad. There were some rather embarrasing moments regarding girl parts and..

Hmmm…I might could blog about them though. Anyhow, great stories. I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to looking over your web page repeatedly.

I am just dying here. And I am sure my laughing is going to get a dirty, possibly hairy, rumor started. Really, I am cracking up. The Great Condom Discussion of , however, which included finding a year old condom and trying to put it on a banana, was epic.

Certainly worth bookmarking intended for revisiting. Im really impressed by it. I will certainly digg it and in my opinion recommend to my friends.

If you want to get a good deal from this article then you have to apply such techniques to your won webpage. Go figure! If I was with my dad and asked to see his penis he would show me otherwise I would be looking at other dads.

So if it was me I would stay there till dad changed to his swim suit. Then I would see how big his penis really is.

I still do when at swimming pool or fitness center I go naked all the time even walking to showers and towel over shoulder my cock swinging in the air.

She took a cursory glance and gave me some advice. Do you condition your chest hair? Me, minus the gun. And toned chest.

And good looks. This is a question I have never heard.

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Things were okay for a while. At dinner one night Dad threw his plate of lemon herb chicken on the floor and pointed at me with his fork, screaming: "You think you're better than me, hotshot!

My huge cock was the only cock I had ever seen, and thus I felt it was completely normal. I guess I felt cool, but I really didn't think much of it.

Soon Mum got wind of my huge cock. One day she came into the bathroom while I was showering -- and she was naked. She opened up the shower curtain and her eyes never rose up to my face.

She said: "I'm so sorry honey, I didn't realize anybody was in here" I said: "Uh, you didn't hear the water running? Soon, my folks wouldn't even hardly talk to me.

I'd ask a question like: "Where is the newspaper? Jul 29, Profile Post History Rap Sheet. Aug 2, Verisimilidude Dec 20, Strike quick and hurry at him, not caring to hit or miss.

You having an 11 inch dick is like me owning a gun. The only use I'll get out of a gun is shooting a couple bullets at a picture of a person. Linux Pirate Apr 21, Well, there goes our grant money.

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Measure it in centimeters you'll get larger numbers bro. Modern Day Hercules Apr 26, Sexgun Rasputin May 5, Can't post for days!

Sexgun Rasputin posted: just a head's up i don't think this is a true story You can't make poo poo like this up my friend it's way too detalied.

EA Sports Feb 10, Even if you have your child's email password, they can just get a Gmail account, or seven, for all the mail they don't want you to see.

I have a friend who told her son he could not go on Facebook unless he allowed her to be one of his Facebook friends she had to promise never to contact any of his friends herself, just to be present in the room, as it were which seemed like a good way of keeping track of what he was doing on Facebook--but then my older daughter told me that there's a secret level of friends, a sanctum sanctorum for your closest friends, that she is sure he did not let his mother into.

So this afternoon I do read the opening line of my girl's emails, because they are right there for me to see next to the sender's name. They seem innocuous enough, if schizophrenic--sometimes the children write childishly "I am so xcited for Dunkin' D's!!!

But here is an email from someone whose email address has no letters, only numbers, many numbers. And there's no subject in the subject line.

The numbers seem at once both so technical, junk mailish, that I think the email couldn't have anything personal in it and therefore it is all right for me to read; and, at the same time, it seems, possibly mercenary, possibly something that is going to cost me money.

Has she ordered something from a catalog and this number is somehow her order number? Or has some online catalog found her and is going to charge her for something she didn't order?

Oh my word. This is not a professional photo, not a porn site photo. It's an amateur close-up, and you can see it's been taken in a bathroom--you can see floor tiles, and a what looks like a used towel on the floor, and a partial view of two large-cupped bras hanging from hooks on the back of a closed door.

Some amateur sent this picture. Somebody my baby probably knows. Oh my God, are we about to be a statistic? Will someone from "Newsweek" be calling our house in the near future looking for a quote on Babies Having Babies?

My baby! My baby who is still young enough to get the child's fare on Amtrak, who likes strawberry milk, and horses, and skipping stones and making brownies?

What is going on here? Of course she knows a huge amount about sex. At our school, eighth grade is short stories, sines and cosines, Social Justice, protons and neutrons, and Sex Education.

At our school they have sex education every five minutes. They have so much sex education that kids write "Don't get any STDs!!!

And I don't believe you never liked Steven! After my baby showed me the condoms, I ran into the woman who is our school nurse and sex educator.

I asked her -nicely! I have heard of dental dams, I have asked my friends what they are and they don't know either, beyond having something to do with oral sex.

I'm sure they're good idea, but I'm sorry, I just don't want to know what they are. But now, when I see the penis picture, I think, Did she not mean it about ewwwww and disgusting?

Could she have thought that the nurse was sending her home with condoms in order to have a funner summer?

Just then, my older daughter, who is twenty-three and lives in her own apartment, stops in with her old high school friend, another lovely young woman, for a visit.

Gravely, I hold forth the picture of the penis I have printed out on the printer. Look at this. They are both speechless at first too.

Then one of them remembers something: it's a fad, a teenage thing. They've heard about it. The boys are sending around pictures of their penises that they have taken using their iPhones.

Those numbers I saw on the Inbox that were the emailer's address are actually his iPhone phone number, they tell me. And, yes, they say, they have heard that the girls are sending around pictures of their vaginas.

But Mother wants to know more. I call the iPhone phone number. A boy answers. I have a crazy parental urge to say to him, Don't you kids listen when the grown-ups tell you not to give strangers any information?

You don't have to tell a stranger anything! You'd probably tag along after a man who tells you he has a hurt puppy in his car!

It's not my daughter's school. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know him that well. On the other hand, if I do decide to exact retribution at some point, it will now take me about ten minutes, from the information he has given me, to find out who he is and what his parents' home phone number is.

This seems to be a boy my girl kind of knows who is indulging in a disgusting fad. It's disgusting, but it's so disgusting it suddenly seems funny.

Also, I'm so relieved that the possible other, darker scenario isn't true--we are not going to be a statistic in "Newsweek," it seems--that I'm practically giddy.

My older daughter and her friend and I spend the next twenty minutes laughing ourselves silly about M and his member and the possible future conversations we might have with him about it.

My baby arrives home from school. Her appearance at the front door sends my older daughter and her friend and I into fresh fits of laughter.

Have you ever kissed a boy, Katie? I shook my head, slightly embarrassed. Its ok darling, Daddys going to teach you how.

I tilted my head to the side, Are you sure thats ok Daddy? Are we allowed to kiss each other on the lips? Daddy laughed a little, Of course we are, youre my daughter!

Every Daddy kisses his daughter, its just that no one talks about it because its such a private, special moment shared by two people that love each other very, very much.

Oh, like married people. Exactly, I knew youd understand; youre so smart! Not only that but you are the prettiest girl I have ever laid eyes on.

I giggled and tried not to blush too much but I couldnt help it, practically my whole face was turning red.

Ok then, first I want you to kiss me on my cheek. I know youve done it thousands of times before but this is just a warm up. Ok Daddy, I said quietly and pressed my lips softly against his right cheek.

Good, now do the same thing but on my lips. I moved my mouth closer to his, licked my lips a little and kept moving my head further until I could feel his warm breath on my face, then I finally pushed my lips against his, giving them a quick kiss before I leaned back nervously.

Its ok baby, youre doing fine. This time I want you to kiss me for longer, lets say 3 seconds. Also, open your lips and move them around mine and Ill do the same.

Do you understand? I nodded. Slowly, I moved my lips towards Daddys again, quicker this time. When our lips connected I could feel Daddys Erection getting harder, I must be doing a really good job, I thought as I felt it pushing into my panties.

Our lips crawled over each others; Daddy began sucking on my upper lip as my lower one caressed his. I was getting a little carried away with the kissing, 5 seconds had gone by and I still hadnt stopped.

Daddy didnt seem to mind though, so I kept kissing him, suddenly I felt something else inside my mouth, it was Daddys tongue!

It was massaging my own tongue, I dont know why but it felt nice so I didnt mind. Daddy was sliding his hand down my back and must have not been paying attention because he grabbed my ass, which made me jump and lose contact with his lips and tongue.

I was so upset with myself for screwing this up! I looked away from Daddy, Ohh, Im sorry Daddy. I got carried away and then just when you were getting happier I stuffed it up!

Dads huge cock

Dads Huge Cock -

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